BDSM without the risk...

Just some thoughts I've been meaning to scribble down... I may add to this later.

I was doing some research for the collaring ceremony and I ran across several blogs written by several different people in the lifestyle, out of the lifestyle, and people who THOUGHT they were in the lifestyle.

One in particular was a blog where this woman was talking about the benefits of engaging in BDSM on Second Life.  She talked about how it was a way to play out your fantasies without any of the risk... She talked about a collaring ceremony that she had on SL, and talked about how meaningful and sentimental it was.

On another occasion, I was talking to someone who was talking about a swinger's club he'd been to.  He said that at one point this one guy came in with a suitcase on wheels and went into a special room and started taking out all kinds of toys and he (the one I was talking to) was thinking, "wow, some people take this hobby pretty far."

...

Um.  Really?  Some people have no fucking idea.

I ended up telling my friend that for a lot of people, this isn't a "hobby".  This is a way of life.  This is who they ARE.

To tie the two together, (see what I did there? lol) here's the thing... Having been in the lifestyle FOR REALS and not just online, "pretending" to engage in BDSM in a place like Second Life is laughable to me.  I think, "what the hell is the point?"  She says, "you can experience the thrill of bondage and restriction and flogging and whipping without any of the physical risk and without having marks left on you."  Um... she's missing the point of why most people do those things... It's just fantasy and porn for these people... I'm insulted that they're calling it BDSM and D/s.

For me, BDSM and D/s go so much deeper than just play... It's about opening yourself up to someone, trusting yourself enough to trust someone else, forming a connection and a bond with another person or persons that is unlike any other connection out there.  It's about respect and fun and understanding and acceptance and processing; expanding your limits, learning what you're capable of accomplishing, bettering yourself.  I'm sorry, but I cannot experience all of that at this level in an online role playing game.  I just can't.

For those people who have never been exposed to the real thing, I can see how it would be very intimidating.  But she made it sound like BDSM on SL was like the "end-all be-all" and that it was superior to the real thing.

It's similar to when I hear people saying, "you know, THOSE kinds of people... those SADOMASOCHISTS" as if members of this community are putrid garbage or something.

Ugh.

Some people just need a high five.

In the face.

With a flogger.

Just saying.