Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl wonders if boy likes girl. fuck.
Before I get started, just to eliminate any confusion, I have another boy under consideration... this is not the same boy. The one under consideration is Suzie, and he will be here on the 3rd to start his service. :) He's only available to me on the weekends, so I was continuing to search for someone during the week... Who says I can't have two? Yes, I'm a greedy bitch. And?
Last night, I went to my first munch. I've been to the GrUE, about to go to DomCon, I've been to classes, dungeon parties, etc. Never a munch. I decided to go because there's this boy I've been talking to... and he occasionally goes to munches so I thought it might be a good place for us to meet in person.
I found him on collarme. I know, I know. Don't judge me. I noticed he'd looked at my profile and didn't message me so I went and looked at his and was intrigued. So I messaged him and told him I saw that he'd looked at me but didn't message and might I ask why. He thanked me for messaging him and explained that he didn't message me because he was concerned about the fact that I was married and was unsure that his involvement would cause some sort of strain or drama in my marriage. I told him that I appreciated his concern and explained that my marriage is quite secure and that he didn't need to worry about that. We continued to talk here and there over the last month and finally decided it was time to meet. (Because he's so close by and I'm impatient, dammit.)
Before getting there, my impression of him was that he was smart, knew what he wanted and didn't want, was well educated (not the same as smart), respectful, and completely adorable. He's in his early (very early) 20s and looks young. He's into light humiliation but not hurtful humiliation and I think that he may be sensitive about his height specifically because he used that as an example when we were talking about limits and stuff.
Erik and I got there, picked an open table and shortly after, the boy came up behind me, having spotted us, and introduced himself. I shook his hand, introduced myself and Erik. I was immediately smitten.
Erik slid into the booth so he'd have a good view of the room, I slipped in next and the boy was on the end. I thought it would make him feel more comfortable not to be 'blocked in' on our first meeting. I know that would have made me uncomfortable.
Conversation happened easily. He would be talking and I would notice him blushing and realize that I was smiling at him. We talked about work, school, dreams, career plans, military enlistment, dungeons, podcasts, and more. At one point, I was telling him about something and he interjected a comment and then apologized for interrupting. *swoon* (He obviously pays attention). There were people talking near our table and he was watching them. I had a question for him so I touched his arm lightly with my fingertips to get his attention. He turned his head toward me and had a look on his face as though he liked that I'd touched him. My tummy fluttered.
They started kicking everyone out and we were still talking, so I went upfront to pay. I paid our check and after I got my change, it was brought to my attention (because I was NOT paying attention apparently) that the three of us had been on one ticket. So I had paid for his dinner accidentally... so he was trying to give the guy money and the guy wouldn't take it saying it was already paid for and there was a line forming behind us so I asked him if he would be mad if we just left it and he started to protest so I told him we should just go talk about it outside and get out of everyone else's way. He agreed, we went outside and started talking. And forgot about the check. D'oh!
We stood outside talking for about another ten minutes. I asked him how tall he is, he said 5'8" on a good day and that he tries to stand up really tall when the doctor measures him and he wishes he were taller. I thought he looked a little shorter than that but I told him that I LOVE that he isn't too tall. What I'm looking for in him is someone about his size and he's the perfect height, weight, adorable-ness for what I want! (It is too a word. I said so.) He likes to be dressed up like a doll and in girl's clothes so his size is kind of perfect for that.
So we start to walk toward the parking lot, he talks about a trip he's going on until Sunday, we go to part ways, he says that it was a pleasure meeting us and he looked at me and said, "I'll be in touch with you, I'm sure." To which I responded, "Yes, please." And then he said good night and walked away.
I sent him a text message a little while later telling him that it was a pleasure meeting him. No response.
My brain started freaking out. "OMG. We forgot to fix the check. Is he mad? Is he insulted? I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. Shit. Should I say something? Should I not? OMG!! I was asking about his height! WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THAT? Does he think I was teasing him about it? I totally wasn't. I told him I liked his height and that it was perfect."
I sent him another text this morning telling him that I realized last night that we didn't settle the check like he'd wanted to do. That I was enjoying talking with him so much that I completely forgot and I apologized.
I still haven't heard back, HOWEVER ~ He's pretty busy most of the time and it's often half a day or a day before I get a text back from him. (At this point, there are no expectations when it comes to communicating and schedules.)
Knowing that he's really busy and that it most likely has nothing to do with me is not helping my brain and its, "OMG did I fuck it up?!?!" bullshit.
This is why I'm soooo glad I don't have to date anymore. I mean, this is kind of like dating, but I have Erik. He's all I need. When it comes down to it, he's the one... anyone else is just the decoration on the frosting. ;)
So yeah, even Mistresses can be neurotic,too. Right? It's not just me?
(is it just me?)
Update: The boy just texted me. He told me it was a pleasure meeting me and he hopes there's a next time. :D