Friday, January 18, 2013
I'm kind of offended right now and I'm not sure how to handle it... A friend of mine stomped her foot and deleted me as a friend (along with a few others), labeling me as some terrible kind of person (don't even know what kind, as she wasn't specific) because she sent out a group message yesterday morning and I didn't have a chance to respond to it since I had to work early that morning and came home to a sick daughter while also trying to plan my son's birthday party which is tomorrow. I went to respond last night after the kids were in bed and she'd left the conversation and unfriended me.
Normally, I would just say, "oh well, your loss." But it really bugs me this time because I'm getting kind of tired of people deciding that because they're not the center of my very existence, that means they can draw the conclusion that I don't care about them or want them as my friend. I had another friend who did that. If I (or anyone he knew) didn't initiate conversation with him daily, he decided that they felt he wasn't worth their time and didn't want to be friends with him. If he commented on something of theirs and they didn't respond, they secretly didn't like him and thought he was beneath them... so he would pick fights so they'd say, "no.... I want to be your friend... I like you!!!" He and I aren't friends anymore because I ended the friendship because of something else... But anyhow, I digress.
You might say, "if they're going to be like that, you don't want them as a friend anyway." But that's not the point for me. The point is that right now she's hurting because she thinks that I don't want to be her friend and she feels deserted. I realize she's doing that to herself but it bothers me when someone is upset or hurting and they feel it's because of me. I don't like leaving that impression on anyone. I suppose I'll get over it but it just makes me sad. Mostly for her...
So I'd like to take this opportunity to say to all of you... Just because I don't talk to you every minute doesn't mean that I don't cherish your friendship. If I don't respond to a message right away, it doesn't mean that I'm abandoning you. My family takes first priority. ALWAYS. (Not to mention the fact that I have my own emotional issues to deal with. I'm lucky that I'm even HERE) If that's a problem for you, then maybe we shouldn't be friends... but I'm putting it out there now so that there are no misconceptions about what kind of friend I'm willing to be. If it doesn't interfere with my responsibilities as a mother and wife, I will be there to the best of my ability when you need me and when I can be... . Just because it's not on YOUR schedule doesn't mean I don't care. If you're going to expect that much of me as a friend, then I'm sorry to have disappointed you and I hope that you find someone who's better capable of providing that.